Do You Fight With Your Mom?

12:59:00 AM


Assalamualaikum w.b.t.





Today I just happened to update about this topic, when a friend of mine informed me about one of our classmate's post on FB about him, having such a hard time with his mom. Truly, this is so bold of me, posting about my classmate's problem, like calling the death to come upon me :S But guess I have no choice, because this is the only way to keep my blog up to date lol.



Actually, I don't know much about him. First, because I am a transfer student in that school for this year, so yeahh, eventho I am Form 5, I'm still considered as newbie at that school lol. So I don't recognize people very well. Second, because everybody said he is weird. He lives in his own world. He didn't actually care about people around him.



Well I think that statement somehow hit my nerve too. XP



Because at my previous school, when I was in Form 2, people used to label me like that too. People tell me that I am weird, I am alien, they said they never meet someone who's as weird as I am. Because, though I am quiet, I am a bad-tempered person. They said the way I'm looking at them, glancing at them, like I haven't eaten anything for the whole year. Yeah, they said the way I'm staring at them is scary. So they're afraid to befriend me. Because of what? I am weird. I live in my own world. I didn't actually care about people.



So that's why I can't accept when other people start to make reckless judgement towards other people. "Gosh, he's weird." or "Gosh, she's weird." Because well I had been one of them too. You don't know how it feel, to be isolated and to be your laughing material. Try putting yourself in our shoes!



Nevertheless, I started to change. Not drastically, I mean. I started to be more open-minded, I started to accept other people, I started to make new friends. I STARTED TO BE MYSELF. Tbh, FORM 4 is the year of success for me. Finally I have friends. Gain trust. But sometimes, yeah, that 'weird' side of me still come, can't avoid it. Guess I can't do anything with it, so I just let it flow.



Oh well, sounds like I'm a lil bit off topic.



So, about that fighting-with-your-mom thingy. Idk where to start and idk how to start. Actually, the problem is, he is disappointed with his mom. Or angry. Or both. IDK. Because all this time, his mom 'kongkong' him. But when I read his post over and over and over again, I thought that even I, myself, somehow understands him. Not to be like a psychotherapist or psychic, who needs to understand people, and not to be on his side. Just purely my opinion.



I have a terrible fight with my mom last year. All because of my mom doesn't allow me to go oversea to further my studies. She was deadly against it. And I was deadly against her. And you know what, to show my protest, I did terribly in my test. I only got GPA 2.7, to which is the worst GPA I'd ever got. I neglect my studies, because at that time, I thought, what's the point of doing your best when you can't even achieve your only dream, that is to fly?



Since I stay at the hostel, which is soooooo far away from my home, I mean, PERAK ----------> LANGKAWI, is more that hundred kilometres away, so I feel secured and safe because I don't have to hear her nagging, nagging, and nagging about my result. Who dehek want to hear? I don't even contact her, or my home, or my family. I PUT THEM AWAY FROM MY LIFE. Everytime she contacted me, I just ignore it. Totally ignore it. Now that I think about it, I can't help but imagine how sinful I am.



That time, I thought that my family is just a bunch of... idk how to describe, unsupportive, maybe? They never been supportive of me since the start. Yes, they do provide the fees for my college, clothes for me to wear, money for me to spend, and so on, but, they aren't aware of my dreams. Instead, they like to look down on me, as the youngest good-for-nothing child. My mom puts all her trust on my sister and brothers, and she doesn't even believe a single word that I say. All she do is putting all the blame to me.



Because I kept this problem to myself for so long, with nobody to rely, I force myself to be independent. But one day, this sis, our super senior, came for a visit and offered us her ear to hear our problems. So, I jumped to this opportunity.



So this is the reply email that she sent me;


Waalaikummusalam adik,

 First sekali, saya nak kata terima kasih sangat2 sudi memilih akak sebagai tempat luahan hati awak. itu maksudnya awk percaya pada akak. Anggaplah kita ini adik-beradik walaupun tak rapat mana.

Okay,sebagai seorang kakak kepada awak. Janganlah byk berfikir. berfikir mana yang perlu. awk masih muda. Anggap itu semua semangat untuk membuktikannya cuma masa yang awak perlukan. Akak makan masa bertahun2 lamanya untuk bukti pada semua orang yang akak sudah berjaya. termasuk parents kita sendiri. Bersabar. Terima dgn hati yg terbuka. itu ibu kita, katakan sahaja, "Baik ibu. Ya ibu". Walaupun tak suka. Jangan, syurga itu di bawah tapak kaki ibu. itu sahaja ibu yang awk ada. Awk tak ada ibu lain lagi. Akak dgn ibu akak slalu ada cita rasa berbeza. Suka perkara yang berbeza2. minat yg berbeza2 tapi itulah yang melengkapkan hidup akak. Akak akan teringat dalam diam, "Ibu aku suka bergaduh dgn aku pasai ini" Haha. Ibu saya pun pernah salah fhm pada saya byk perkara tapi saya SENYUM>>>SMILEEE>>>THE BEST WAY I CAN DO INFRONT HER.

 Contoh peristiwa ye : One day, saya nak beli jam tangan. jam tangan tu hanyalah RM15 je. cantik serious, ada diamond. sangat berpatutan. Suddenly, my mom kata, tu cepat rosak nanti. My mom found jam tangan Casio harga agak mahal sgt2. jenama kan? So, saya lari senyap2, masukkan jam tgn RM15 tu dlm bakul. Then, terbayar haha...settle... My mom glanze on me haha...Sy lari dan terus lari sebab takut kena leteran...But I know, my mom nak yg terbaik untuk saya. Dia nak saya pakai jam tangan yg mahal tu untuk saya bukan untuk dia.

 same goes with our career, She try hard to plan the best for you actually. Mungkin, awak yg berfikir begitu. Satu perasaan ibu ini, bila dia sedar anak dia dah besar, dia sedih sangat3. Sebab dia tahu bila awak fikir awak dah besar, awak akan pergi meninggalkan dia apatah lagi mendirikan rumah tangga. Thats why she always think you still a child. Be understanding young girl. be more understanding to your mom. Grateful to have this lovely mom. Talk softly about your own desire. pray to Allah to guide you. Do a lot of research to convince your mother and be brave to talk to her. It could be hurts for a while but you will be blessed for the rest of your life...Insyallah...


After that, I started to change.



I try to contact my mom. I apologize. But haha, it was not going as smooth as I thought. My mom keeps nagging "Pasai pa tak angkat phone blablablabla" and well, without any option, I just 'tadah telinga jela'.



I try to convince her once again, that I still wanna go overseas, and she stays silent, before replied 'No,' but before I could reply, she said 'Not for now. Maybe years later when you're completely ready.'



And so, my relationship with my mom returns back to normal. Though sometimes we still have fights, but it's not too serious like this one lah, sampai berbulan-bulan tak contact.



So, the conclusion is, I try my best to be independent, yes, true, I don't wanna put my family in trouble, because I thought that I have caused so much trouble already. Revenge? Sometimes I used to have this feelings like "You'll regret this later" or "You'll see what I gonna do one day" or "Later I don't wanna help you anymore" yeah yeah it's bad I know. But when rationality comes first, you'll realize that your family don't last forever. Your mom doesn't last forever. There's no turning back once they've gone from this world. There's no second chance once you wasted them.



That's why I TREASURE them.



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6 obliviators

  1. i understand your feelings. my adik faced the same thing as you do. best of luck with your future :)

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  2. You've been through a lot. Very inspiring story. Sometimes sy pun selalu ada salah faham dgn family but in the end blood is thicker than water & air yg dicincang tidak akan putus cewah beperibahasa hahahaha
    - Artsy le Bella

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  3. I do 'fight' with my mom and I think It was my fault all the time. However, I don't really hold any grudge towards my family cause I know their temper would be just for a moment. Futhermore, family is our everything after all. So yeah.
    Nowadays my mom becomes more understanding and I love her more. I think I need to understand her too :( I hope she would forgive me and I'll try to make up everything for her. She's great!

    ReplyDelete
  4. laila; ikr? the youngest one always face this problem haaa :D

    bella(idk your name but I assume bella cause of ur blog XD);
    yes, I dedicated this entry to my friend, he has a hard with his mom tho.

    zura; yes, I couldn't agree less!

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  5. Masalah hang ngan aku sama sebijik... hahahahahaha mak ni bila sampai yang bongsu ni selalu dia nak dengan dia je.. yela paling kecik kan.. apa kita punya keputusan kalau dia tak suka jenuh dia nak setuju.. tapi yela mak.. takkan nak marah sampai bebila kan? Send my regards to her :D goodluck on your study! :)

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  6. _numigx; hehehe that's exactly why XD thank you, I'll talk to her later!

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